A couple may grow up in two completely different environments; One of them comes from a very strict environment, while the other one is raised in a liberal environment; As a result, each may have different approaches to how to raise their children.
There isn’t necessarily a right or wrong approach to testing parenting, but when couples find themselves in an opposing situation, what can they do to be successful in creating a positive home environment? Read also Caesarean sections .. Do they harm your baby?8 steps to adjust your child’s biological clock to fit the month of Ramadan Nightmares spoil your child’s sleep .. How to avoid her pain?How do you tame your child’s selective appetite for food?
Speaking for herself, Caroline Silver says in an article on Parents , “Before having children, I had my own style and rules that I wanted to raise my children with, but in all my plans I made a simple mistake. I forgot to think about my husband. The next father of my children. “
“We realized now, after having two children, that our parenting styles often clash,” says Caroline. “I have strict rules about eating and snacks, and my husband is a candy man.”
A husband might want his two young children to be calm and perfect all the time. For the mother, this is unrealistic, they are two young children, however, she must impose on the children those unconvincing rules, and with repetition of the matter this may create great problems between the parents.
Who are good parents?
John Shari, founder of Parents Plus Charity and assistant professor of psychology, says in an article he wrote for Irishtimes ; Effective parenting is not about adopting one approach over another, but about being able to adopt different styles at different times; This means that both “permissive” and “strict” approaches to parenting are part of the set of good parenting responses.
Effective parenting is mainly about balancing these two extremes, and bad parenting is usually rigid and suspended in one aspect. Good parents set the rules and support children’s decision-making for themselves. They guide children with clear boundaries, as well as support their free emotional expression. Good parents teach children how to behave socially, and also how to be independent individuals.
Good parents are able to pause and choose the response that best suits the needs of the child in front of him. The key is not to be a fighting parent over who has the right parenting style, but instead to listen and learn from each other, and make sure you appreciate your strengths and differences.
One of the greatest gifts you can give your children is providing them with the model of cooperative parents who negotiate well despite being completely different. https://www.youtube.com/embed/tkgWc2wzFNQ?version=3&rel=1&showsearch=0&showinfo=1&iv_load_policy=1&fs=1&hl=ar&autohide=2&wmode=transparent
For her part, Caroline Silver introduces in her article some simple ways in which parents can work on parental compatibility:
Be clear about your style
It is beneficial for the spouses to be aware of the parenting style, beliefs and customs that each one brought from his parents’ home; Then you can decide if this is the way you want to follow your parenting style or not.
What worked in the past may no longer be the best for your family. Children today need parents who communicate more consciously and cooperatively.
Save the cash for later
If you see that your wife is behaving in a way that conflicts with your convictions, choose to leave it so that you can speak face to face in private, it is better for children not to witness parental disputes.
Use a password
Talking to your partner while interacting with and disciplining children may lead to resentment later on. However, the situation may really need to be bailed out if it gets out of hand. A password can be used here that expresses the need to withdraw from the situation immediately, such as if the password is “rope”, for example, and here one of the spouses understands that the other party wants to cooperate with you, but alerts you to the need to retreat now.
Maintaining a strong marital relationship
Protecting your relationship with your spouse is a top priority to maintain a healthy and cohesive family. It is possible for the spouses to set a fixed time each week to spend time together, whether inside or outside the home, the important thing is that they are alone to ensure good communication, in addition to having time to speak calmly and frankly, agreeing on what they disagree on and find a compromise.
Look for advice
It is unusual for differences in style to make you and your wife at odds, but in the event that this happens, you should pay attention and seek outside help, whether from family or friends, or the assistance of a family expert, to create a balance within the family.
It’s never too late
Many couples build the parenting framework that they will follow early in their relationship, while others may have to go through this experience after problems have already occurred. It is true that we hear about the precious period of growth in the early years of life, and the importance of being in agreement, however there is always time for improvement, and children will benefit greatly any time parents choose to work more cooperatively in the parenting style. The positive effect of change is always achievable.